Big Boys Don't Cry

See, now, this is what I mean when I talk about "Lies We Believe." I would like to see a show of hands of how many have never heard that saying. Of course big boys cry...and medium-sized boys, to say absolutely nothing about small boys!

There are beliefs we sometimes hold as Americans that inform our behavior (or way of being connected to our cultural environment). They can be as patently false and destructive to our development as, "Big boys don't cry." Or they can be ones, repeated so often without denial, that they become an accepted way of viewing life in community. For example, such a value statement from American sport is, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

In the case of the former, when we really examine the "truth" about boys and crying we might say, "Well, I don't really mean - or believe - that." Those are the easiest to place as cultural value lies which often are allowed to exist in our society as if they were true. The latter type, like the one about winning and sport, seem to have face validity, coming as they do from authority figures and thoughtlessly repeated by others. Plus these often contain a seed of truth i.e., "Winning isn't everything."

So my antennae is out for those insidious lies. Any help would be appreciated! And rightful annotation provided!

I have a few more but let me just mention a couple. "There is safety in strength." OK, test time: is that "true" or "false?" Or, how about, "There can only be one #1!" Hmmm, maybe I'll save my Reflections on those to another time. But I think you get the direction of my thinking.

You may be asking yourself, "Why bother, Bill?" Well, I think there is a power in words. And I think that when a lie is exposed it loses some of its ability to cloak itself in truth. Finally, I think some of these lies are wrecking havoc on American society, and to some extended extent, other parts of the world. I also have this Don Quixote kind of complex too! Don and I go waaaay back. He's also for another day when I write about working in prisons. I'm done for now.